


Selfish act

by Miharo



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, M/M, Violence, some sort of mafia au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-05 16:45:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14048529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miharo/pseuds/Miharo
Summary: “I never want to leave you…”The sirens were there, but it was like all the sounds were suddenly lost, nothing but void around them.“… but I guess the time’s up for us.”





	1. Mo Guan Shan

**Author's Note:**

> I'd say the characters are around 25-yo in this fic.  
> Based on this [prompt](http://miharou.tumblr.com/post/172107648379/for-the-fix-prompt-thing-i-never-want-to-leave).

The sirens were echoing in the narrow streets, the high pitched sound carrying in their ears louder and louder. It was bad. The splashing water on the asphalt made running harder, the ground under them slippery even if they knew these streets and alleys like their own pockets. The rain was long gone, the humid, warm air sticking in their skin and making them sweat even harder as they ran under the dark sky, streets occasionally bright with neon lights. It was better to avoid people, they could never be sure who was with whom in this district. He Tian’s back was broad in front of Mo Guan Shan, his athletic figure few steps ahead leading the way. They had been running for a while now and it seemed like they were slowly losing. Fuck, things weren’t looking good at all. The serious look Mo Guan Shan noticed He Tian had on his face told him it all: they were in deep shit. If they were to see a flash of blue and red, it would probably pretty much be over for them. Then again, worse options were possible too. Those, he didn’t even want to think about.

He Tian stopped and turned swiftly, Mo Guan Shan almost running straight at him.

“What is it?”

“This way’s no good. Come.”

He Tian passed him, brush of fingertips caressing his arm as He Tian confidently led them the other way. Mo Guan Shan glanced behind him. They needed to get out of this maze of streets. They were an easy target, blood stained clothes standing out if they tried to get in the masses of people, people surely avoiding them like plague and making them even easier target. Fuck, if only their ride hadn’t been shot. Mo Guan Shan clutched the gun on his hand, the steel already warm under his touch. He would not let today be their end. The sirens were closing by once again, adding on the adrenaline rush he was already feeling. He Tian glanced at him, relaxed steps turning into a slow run. Mo Guan Shan followed. Just how were the cops keeping up with them? Mo Guan Shan tried to think, think a way out of this gutter. Think! That’s when he saw it, the flash of colous he dreaded right now. His heart jumped at his throat. He slowed down his run, steps coming to a halt. It was either him or He Tian, and there was no way he would, could let them get to the taller man. And just like that, suddenly it felt the easiest decision he had ever done in his life. He Tian was too important, he couldn’t get caught, but he himself, he was a no-one. There was no time to think too much about it, no time to think what He Tian might be feeling, what he himself would be leaving behind. Because right now the most important thing was to get the man he felt everything for safe. Hell, there was no way around this.

“Guan Shan! What the fuck are you doing?!”

Determined brown eyes locked with dangerous looking dark grey ones. He Tian, clearly alarmed, jogged few steps back and Mo Guan Shan followed, hands grabbing a hold of He Tian’s head, gun pressing in the dark hair as he kissed those surprised lips hard, passionate. It was desperate, so sweet, Mo Guan Shan clinging on He Tian as he pressed their bodies closer. He Tian’s body was so familiar, breath warm on his cheek as Mo Guan Shan felt He Tian pull his hair and glance at him. It was intensive, heat and adrenaline rushing in their veins. The redhead smirked devilishly, he was sure He Tian knew everything with that kiss. Mo Guan Shan stole another one from He Tian’s lips, the grip on his hair easing slightly in the moment and the redhead took advantage of the short second and pulled himself free, jumping few big steps back as a hand clutched his way immediately. He couldn’t get caught now.

“You know –“

“Guan Shan.”

It was angry. Serious. Desperate. Scared. Vulnerable.

He couldn’t hesitate now.

“I never want to leave you…”

The sirens were there, but it was like all the sounds were suddenly lost, nothing but void around them.

“… but I guess the time’s up for us.”

“Bullshit! Let’s get the fuck going!”

I’m sorry. Forgive me. It hung there, right on top of his lips, but he couldn’t say them. Not when the grey eyes he wanted to look forever into looked at him like that.

“We can still make it! They will meet us there as we planned! Don’t do anything stupid!”

Mo Guan Shan took a few steps backwards and he saw He Tian’s hand curling on a fist. He was so close to the intersection, He Tian wouldn’t make it.

“Get back here.”

“Fuck off already.”

Mo Guan Shan jerked the gun at He Tian’s direction, before pointing the gun at him. He knew he couldn’t do it, but he hoped it would still create an impact. Dark eyes pierced him and Mo Guan Shan watched He Tian’s tense figure. For once he seemed lost. So unlike him, nothing like Mo Guan Shan had ever seen. And somehow it hurt, it hurt already so much. It was crazy, loving someone like this.

It was all over so fast as he turned and sprinted, the pain suddenly riding through his body. His heavy body hit the ground, red-blue sirens almost right next to him. Sounds were muffled, puddle of something warm under him, mind growing hazy. Mo Guan Shan managed to turn his head toward the dark alley. He squeezed his eyes, fit of coughs hitting his lungs and he desperately tried to make something out of the scene in front of him. Empty. It was all empty. He wanted to laugh, but breathing hurt, thoughts slipping at each breath he tried to take.

‘Good… Not there.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be more. Or not. I'm still playing with the idea.
> 
> Original post http://miharou.tumblr.com/post/172109165119/selfish-act


	2. He Tian

 

He Tian wasn't sure how he had made it to the meeting point, the memory was faded, blank, nonexistent, his mind going on repeat what he had seen instead. Fuck, fuck! They, no, he had fucked up so bad that the only thing he thought highly of in his life, the one thing he adored, loved like no-one else, had gone and... done something so horrible for him. He punched the vacant seat in front of him in the car. He could never forgive this to himself, he was still lacking so much. Mo Guan Shan was better not be dead so he could kill him himself for doing stupid shit like that. Just who had he been taken by? Alerted thoughts ran through his head. If it was the police the chances he could get Mo Guan Shan back were a lot higher than if the ones who got him were _them_. Police could be easily bribed, a little money here and there and all sorts of things were forgotten, wiped off from the reports and evidence mysteriously lost. He Tian didn’t even want to think the other option, because there was nothing else than death in there.

He Tian reached the main office rather fast, hurrying inside to meet the one person he needed to see right now. He Cheng. His phone had kept buzzing in his pocket for the past fifteen minutes, but he had bigger worries right now, all the other bullshit could wait. His heart was clenching in his chest, the pain, the uneasiness, the anger and the fear of losing all hope hung heavy in the air. If he were to lose Mo Guan Shan, his redhead, he knew his world would come crumbling down, he would lose everything he lived for. He pushed the door open harshly, his brother not showing the slightest surprise.

“You fucked up pretty bad there, little brother.”

He Cheng’s voice was deep baritone and He Tian could spot the slight mock in it.

“Cut the bullshit and tell me who got him.”

“Why should I tell you anything?”

“If you value my sanity at all you should fucking hurry up.”

He Cheng chuckled amused, seeing his brother so emotional was rare, it was only when it came to Mo Guan Shan that he seemed to be so easily riled up. That redhead boy had really fucked up his brother. It was kind of impressive.

“Your sanity? Little brother, you’re pretty fucked up in the head already.”

“Fuck you! Tell me already!” He Tian slammed his palms on the table.

“You know yourself it was quite unclear situation. Seems like there were multiple parties there but the latest information I got was that the fuzz managed to take the redhead to the hospital in the end.”

He Tian could feel himself finally break out in cold sweat. There was still a chance he could see him again.

“Lucky you, I guess, since _they_ would have surely let him die there on the street,” He Cheng continued and got up from his chair, rummaging through the drawer on his desk, “But seems he got pretty fatal wounds, not sure if he's still breathing.”

He Tian glanced at his brother, hands balling on fists. He could feel every cell in his body go cold at the thought.

“Where's he at now?”

“You can't go see him.”

“Don't fucking tell me what to do!”

“You're not leaving this building, they're still looking for you. And what are you even going to do? Can you save him? You can’t do a fuck. Let the doctors do their job and sit down and wait.”

He Tian hated the fact that his brother was right.

“Which hospital is he at?”

“You’re not going to find out anything, I’ve told everyone not reveal anything to you.”

“What the fuck?!” He Tian vented out, pointing his finger at his brother threateningly. “They are going to pay, I'm going to kill each one of them myself, watch them scream in agony for doing this to him. One. By. One. That’s something you can’t stop me from doing.”

He Cheng kept his façade blank as he put the gun on the table.

“Just don't get yourself killed.”

He Tian clicked his tongue, annoyed by even such suggestion. He grabbed the gun from the table.

“The thing all this, this shit happened for is in the car. Ask the driver for it. And be fucking careful not to lose it again, don't let all this be fucking waste,” He Tian gritted the words through his teeth. He left the room, followed by one his brother’s underlings as he made his way to his office, the man probably making sure he wouldn’t actually try and leave. He Tian shut the door after him and sat down on the couch. He dropped the gun on the seat next to him, head buried between his hands. He couldn’t break down now, moments like these asked for strength, determination, clarity. He needed to make things right.

He was forced to spend the night at the office, his driver driving him to a safe house the next day. He couldn’t go home for many reasons and it wasn’t like he particularly wanted to go there. At home everything would only remind him of... Fuck, just how much longer would he have to wait to know more? Safe houses were like fucking prisons.

Few weeks passed by, He Tian getting only minor details about what was going on. He knew who were behind killing their driver, the persons causing the domino effect. He had gotten two of them already off the list while three more were left to go. Fighting over districts and business could be harsh and deaths occur, but these kills, they were purely for revenge, purely for his pleasure. They brought amazing satisfaction.

Another restless two weeks later, He Tian finally got more news. The minute he got the call and the name of the hospital, he was sitting in his car headed for the southern part of the city. The twenty minutes felt the longest in his life, the traffic delaying his arrival more than he was currently okay with. He caught his driver glancing at him from the rearview mirror briefly. From outside he was probably looking calm and composed, but inside he was definitely a crazy mess, stomach wrenching and making him feel sick. The past week he hadn't been told much about how Mo Guan Shan was doing. Was he even going to see him alive? It wouldn’t be a visit the mortuary, would it? The walk from the sliding doors to the room felt endless, seconds slowing down to unbearable slowness. Room 707 was soon in his sight, the bodyguards securing the door bowing at him as he got closer. He Tian brazed himself. The door slid open easily and surprised brown eyes turned to look at him. He Tian froze, he felt his heart filling with too much, too many emotions, relief, anger, sadness, love, disbelief. He walked calmly over the bed, fist fast and hard as he punched the man lying on the bed. He shook his hand, the pain riding through his bones as he heard the hiss of breath Mo Guan Shan took in.

"... Guess I deserved that one."

Mo Guan Shan looked challengingly at him and He Tian tried to maintain his emotions.

"I'm still here, aren't I?" Mo Guan Shan said keeping his voice indifferent. Fuck his cheek stung.

"If you want to die that bad I'm fucking killing you myself."

Mo Guan Shan wiped the corner of his mouth, blood staining the tip of his fingers. He Tian held his jaw suddenly and he groaned at the discomfort, dark and harsh eyes locking with his.

"I saved you one."

"Just one? Greedy asshole."

He Tian tightened his grip and Mo Guan Shan grimaced at the pain.

"The shooter. It was one of _them_."

He Tian saw the burn appear in the brown eyes, the dark gleam in Mo Guan Shan’s eyes everything he had missed.

"Guess we've got a job to do then."

"I'm getting you out of here tonight."

"Oh yeah? What are you planning to do?"

"What do you think?"

It was somewhat a hassle, the nurses especially troubled and disapproving with He Tian’s decision, but they got in the car, He Tian dismissing his driver and driving the car himself. Mo Guan Shan was still healing, he was good enough to move around a little, but it was definitely a little too early to be fucked into the mattress so roughly. He Tian was going in and out ruthlessly, taking what he had missed for almost two months now, boldly claiming what belonged to him. And Mo Guan Shan let him, because fuck, the cock fucking him so eagerly and the body heat behind him made him feel more alive than he had for so long. His wounds stung like hell, he just wished they wouldn’t open up too badly.

"Next time you have crazy ideas like that… Tell me first so I can be the one to take the shot. There’s no way I’m letting some fucker kill you."

“I’m not… gonna apologize. I did what the… moment needed.”

The air was mix of moans, Mo Guan Shan groaning incoherent mumbled words as he felt his body getting closer to orgasm. He Tian felt the tightening muscles, sucking him in so eagerly like his cock just wasn't enough.

"Fuck... You want it bad, huh?"

"Hah... Like you're one to talk..."

He Tian kept the pace, kissing and biting on the redhead's shoulder and nape. He could see the red stain spreading on the bandages and he wrapped his hand around Mo Guan Shan’s cock. It only took him two strokes before he felt Mo Guan Shan spill it and He Tian sucked in air between his teeth to hold himself just a second or two longer. It was a moment of heavy breaths, satisfaction and delirious heat between their bodies. He pulled out and turned Mo Guan Shan on his back, their come staining the sheets under them.

"If you fucking die on me, even worse because of me, I won't fucking forgive you."

"I think you’re doing a good job here already, fuck it hurts," Mo Guan Shan groaned as he held his side, the white bandages already bloodstained. He Tian’s lips grew in a small smile at his words.

"You're in fucking ridiculous state. Just look at yourself."

"Who the hell you think made it like this, fucker? I was just fine fifteen minutes ago."

"Like you didn't want it."

"I never said that."  
  
After few days He Cheng appeared on their door, disapproving look on his face as he asked why the redhead wasn’t still resting in the hospital. Words like “because you do thoughtless stupid things like this I didn’t allow anyone to tell you” and “mind your own business, can’t you see he’s just fine” were thrown in the air, He Cheng leaving soon after arriving. It took another week or so before they were clearing out their inventory.

"Nice shot, Guan Shan."

The red was staining the floor, the pale grey tiles growing dirty and maroon. It was weirdly exciting, weirdly satisfying. They still had a long way to go.

"Who's up next?" Mo Guan Shan asked voice low, dark glint in his eyes. He Tian walked closer and grabbed his lover’s cock.

"Probably you –“

"Fuck you."

"And me, definitely me."

"You sick fuck" Mo Guan Shan mumbled, the steel of the gun warm under his fingers and he pushed He Tian away, securing the weapon. If you let the man have a finger he would take the whole hand. They walked in the car, He Tian dialing up the cleaning service. He watched Mo Guan Shan sit on the front seat, just like he always had. It was comforting, relaxing, so familiar. And a little surprising as Mo Guan Shan lit up a cigarette and blew the trail of smoke out from the window. The redhead caught grey eyes looking at him and he offered the smoke to He Tian. He Tian accepted, a small smile tugging on his lips as he inhaled the smoke. The moment was everything he wanted, Mo Guan Shan just right there next to him. Just like a perfect dream.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh-ho~ Suspicion it is.  
> Idk, I don’t usually write stuff like this so I don’t know what to think. I don’t think I’m very good at AU type of stuff it was nice to try though. I had different ideas for this fic tbh, but I’m just not that excited to write all that up so I just came up with this. It’s not that strong of a storyline and I think there’s some OOC in there, but… It is what it is. Anything to help me out of this writer’s block or whatever this is. Hope it was somewhat entertaining at least!


End file.
